I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
