oh god the rape fog is back!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
