Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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