Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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