my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
