Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
