you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
