Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
