Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Randomize
