drinking out of a sandbucket again
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I wish there were birth control emojis
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
