how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
