Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize