Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
In America we eat man semen.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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