just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
