i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
