there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
