Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
