What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I skipped work to stalk him.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
