Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
