Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Boobs are out for the taking
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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