Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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