Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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