This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I supernannyed him into submission
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
