and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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