We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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