ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
