He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
