is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
