You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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