I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
