Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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