Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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