That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
