We're like a lot better than the average bears
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
