How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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