5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
