I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
