he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
