Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
