I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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