well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
