I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
