First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Blood and glitter go together right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
