I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
