dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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