The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
