My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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