OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
