Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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