Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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