Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
