I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Mom said you looked used
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
