You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
