I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
