I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
