No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
