um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
