i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
