I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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