she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize