Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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