My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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