dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Even my vagina gasped.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
