dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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