we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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