she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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