kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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