Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
